Day 1: 5 Ways to Win My Heart

How to win my heart in no specific order:

Sense of Humor/Fun
Anyone who knows me knows my love of laughter and foolery. A big plus is the someone who can laugh, make me laugh, and have the ability to laugh at themselves. Life is to short to be serious all of the time. This should also mean that you know how to.like to have fun, that you're not very uptight, and like to try new things.

Relationship with Christ
There is nothing more sexy appealing than a man who is in relationship with Christ- who can praise, worship, pray, study God's word, and just overall live a Christ-centered life. Its beyond just being a Christian. Many people claim to be Christians but don't actually follow/live a life that reflects a surrendered life to Christ. This doesn't mean that you're perfect because there is no such thing. However, it shows that you live a life that reflects love, servanthood, discernment, faith, honesty, integry,,, the list keeps going.

Pursue Me
Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe in cat and mouse games. Rather, what I mean by this is that you do those things that make me feel and know that I am what you want. So whether its phone calls, texts, a spontanous activity- whatever those little things are that show that you really care. And these things shouldn't stop after the guy gets the girl. Its always good to have that reminder whether its 2 months, 2 years, or 20 years that yup, you're the girl I want. And trust me, I'll always reciprocate the effort.

Be Confident. Be a Leader.
Know who you are and what you want from this life of yours without being arrogant. Then, be about it, especially when its regarding me lol.

Quality Time
A few years ago, I read the Five Love Languages book and I realized that I'm totally a QT person. So, take the extra time out for me, listen to me, be supportive of me. Time is so precious so I really value it when someone its taken out for me.

I don't think the criteria for winning my heart are too complicated. :)

Writers Block: 30 Day Challenge

In a past life, I used to love writing- stories, poems, journals... It was the safe haven for thoughts that couldn't make it to verbal reality. Over time for a myriad of reasons, my writings ceased. So under the inspiration of my partner in crime Alicia, I'm making an attempt to awaken my inner writer. Hopefully after these 30 days, writing will once again become part of who I am.

Happy writings. :)

On Father's Day

My rationale for being a tomboy as a child was quite simple: 1) Catching catepillars, rolling in the grass, and playing with legos and toy cars was much more appealing than barbies, frilly dresses, and easy bake ovens, and 2) things like basketball and baseball is what what men seem to like, so liking these things make me feel closer to having a dad one day.

It was in the fourth grade that I realized that I didn't have a father. My mother and grandmother respectively took turns in raising me, and had done the best in their ability. However, that year, my teacher decided to make a big deal of Father's Day- we made cards, and gifts, and wrote poems. Somewhere tucked away I still have my poem. In it, I introduced myself to my dad, told him my interests, my favorite things, and what I wanted to be when I grew up. From that point forward, I recognized that there was someone missing in my life, and I wanted to know him. Did my eyes come from him? What about parts of my personality? Did we like the same things? What was his family like? If I passed him on the street, would I instantly know it was him?

Childhood excitement and wonder turned into teenage bitterness, turned into adult indifference. I effectively told myself that I made it thus far without one, so I don't need one. Father's Day became just another day on the calendar. If I just ignored it, my feelings surrounding fatherhood and him would go away too. Win win situation. If only life were so simple...

Our world needs fathers. Little girls need to be daddy's princess, and little boys need him to be their role model on what it means to be a man. Despite what today's society says, we need father's who will teach, mold, support and nurture their children throughout adulthood. The role of a father affects how we view ourselves, our relationships, our children, and even our relationship with Christ.

What does God the Father mean if we don't know the meaning of father and fatherhood...?

It has been 8 years since I found my father, and it has been a difficult journey. My prayer is that one day, my future children won't have to share my experience. And I believe that God will honor that prayer.

To all of the fathers, grandfathers, step-fathers, uncles, cousins, teachers, pastors, coaches, big brothers- to the men who have risen to the occasion of fatherhood, thank you. :)

The Lion and the Lamb

Last Saturday, I woke up, turned on the tv, and had the chance to watch one of my secretly favorite movies- Mr. Holland's Opus. On a basic level, it combines three of my loves, history, teaching and music. On a deeper level, it gives an interesting commentary on societal change, love, family, friendship, dedication and self-sacrifice. As an educator, its inspiring in the sense that one man could have such an impact on so many lives just through teaching. On the other hand, its sad to see that he did not have that same impact for many years in his own personal life. In many respects, it reminds me of the verse:
 "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Mark 8:36)
What good is it to be loved my many just to lose the essence of who you are in the process?

The start of the Lenten season put me in the crossroads of this question. What good is it for me to continue to work and dedicate myself to so many areas and not do the same for self? I have recognized for a while now that in the pursuit of career and adult responsibilities, I have let personal desires fade into the background. The easy fix to that has been to find instant gratification in things like food or tv, or just being plain apathetic because its easier to do nothing than to take on something else responsibility based, even if it is for self. My many attempts at instant gratification have only led to more problems and more frustration on the larger scale. 

March in many respects has come in like a lion: its been emotional. Its been a fight against self. There have been many difficult days.
But, March in many respects has gone out like a lamb: there has been laughter, and peaceful moments, and prayerful moments, and times of inspiration.
Starting tomorrow, I will be renewing my Daniel Fast. I did 8 of the initial 21 and now I'm going to start at least another 13 to complete the 21. I just have to keep pressing on no matter how difficult, because I know that if I don't, I won't be living a life true to what God desires for me.

So, time to do some more soul searching...

Day 6

Today is day 6 of my Daniel Fast and in all honesty, it hasn't been too bad. I haven't really missed food stuffs like cupcakes and ice cream, and burgers... so far so good. It only bothers me when I'm leaving work and find myself starving and looking for food. My day usually consists of leaving my house by 7am and not leaving work until sometimes 5pm or later, which leaves me very hungry at that time. Its those moments that I want nothing more than to go to my bodega spot and get my pastrami and provolone on a roll with lettuce, tomato, a little mayo and salt and pepper lol! So far, I've been out to eat twice with friends and have been able to order salads that were pretty good so I didn't feel like I was missing out on too much.

So far, I'm reminded of the fact that I have the ability and will power to do what I'd have to do to make changes in my life. What I now have to get down to is the heart of the matter which is discipline. What is it going to take to ignite that fire in me to make my desires of change a reality?

Lent 2011

Let began this Wednesday. Admittedly, I've been both looking forward and dreading this time. I look forward to Lent because I consider it my spiritual new year. The daily grind of life always has a way of pulling me away from that Christ-centered life that I desire. This year, I'm starting with a Daniel Fast and giving up facebook for several reasons- mainly because I'm seeking God's direction and His healing of the broken places in my life. After that, for the remainder of Lent I will be giving up meat, except for fish. Man, a piece of baked salmon sure does look good right about now... lol! I don't look forward to this journey because I know that its going to ask of me the things I don't desire to do and the things I don't want to deal with. But this is part of the Christ-centered life- cutting away those things that are not like Him in my life so that I can be more like Him.

Today is day 3 and I have been going strong. I even did a 20 minute workout. And I haven't even thought about facebook once. I've already had a bit more energy and I also started reading the book of Daniel. I know that this process will have its difficulties, but I also know that its what's necessary to live more in the fullness of what God purposed my life to be.

Welcome Back!

Wow! It has been over 2 years since I've touched this blog. Looking back on the posts that I've made in the past, I am reminded of how much has happened over the course of these past 2 years. I also realize how much I've changed as an individual during this time, hopefully for the better :)