My rationale for being a tomboy as a child was quite simple: 1) Catching catepillars, rolling in the grass, and playing with legos and toy cars was much more appealing than barbies, frilly dresses, and easy bake ovens, and 2) things like basketball and baseball is what what men seem to like, so liking these things make me feel closer to having a dad one day.
It was in the fourth grade that I realized that I didn't have a father. My mother and grandmother respectively took turns in raising me, and had done the best in their ability. However, that year, my teacher decided to make a big deal of Father's Day- we made cards, and gifts, and wrote poems. Somewhere tucked away I still have my poem. In it, I introduced myself to my dad, told him my interests, my favorite things, and what I wanted to be when I grew up. From that point forward, I recognized that there was someone missing in my life, and I wanted to know him. Did my eyes come from him? What about parts of my personality? Did we like the same things? What was his family like? If I passed him on the street, would I instantly know it was him?
Childhood excitement and wonder turned into teenage bitterness, turned into adult indifference. I effectively told myself that I made it thus far without one, so I don't need one. Father's Day became just another day on the calendar. If I just ignored it, my feelings surrounding fatherhood and him would go away too. Win win situation. If only life were so simple...
Our world needs fathers. Little girls need to be daddy's princess, and little boys need him to be their role model on what it means to be a man. Despite what today's society says, we need father's who will teach, mold, support and nurture their children throughout adulthood. The role of a father affects how we view ourselves, our relationships, our children, and even our relationship with Christ.
What does God the Father mean if we don't know the meaning of father and fatherhood...?
It has been 8 years since I found my father, and it has been a difficult journey. My prayer is that one day, my future children won't have to share my experience. And I believe that God will honor that prayer.
To all of the fathers, grandfathers, step-fathers, uncles, cousins, teachers, pastors, coaches, big brothers- to the men who have risen to the occasion of fatherhood, thank you. :)
