Maybe about 2 weeks ago, the article "How to keep Millennial's in the Church?" started popping up on my newsfeed. It was a good read especially in light of the many conversations I've been having over the last few years about my views of the Church. If you're wondering what this means, millennial's and the Church, let me give you a brief overview. It's basically how the church is dealing with the youth of the church who have been born between the 1980s and 2000, which raises the question of how does the Church appeal to or handle the pre-teens to young adults? On our church discussion board, my pastor asked us to open up a dialog on this article. I will write more at a later time some of my views on different aspects of the Church, but I think this will give you a bit of an idea.
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Whatever happened to the Church just being Church- a place where people
can come to meet Jesus. A place that transforms lives, and cultivates
rich, deep community. A place that feeds the poor, welcomes the
stranger, protects the widow. And among many other things, a place that
is actually cross eyed. Instead, so many churches have become (or strive
to be) houses that boast of the thousands of "members" that warm pews
on Sunday mornings. Pastors, reverends, evangelists, psalmists,
prophets, (insert title here), have taken the Word of God to create
self-serving businesses, I mean ministries, that generate millions
though cool pop culture gimmicks, preaching prosperity over purpose, and
playing on the glitz and glamor, feel-good needs of a generation. So
many have turned the richness of the Bible to watered-down feel good
messages that attract the masses, but lack the transformative substance
of the Gospel itself. Sure, bread is filling, but what is its
longstanding nutritional value?
Lest we forget that Jesus only started with 12...
As someone who falls in this millennial category, what keeps me in
Church is the desire to connect to something real- substantive Word that
transforms and gives me the tools to navigate this life, rich loving
community that in essence serves as a second family, areas that I can
connect, serve, grow, and explore my gifts and talents, and a community
that works to live the message of the gospel to the world around them. I
think to ignore the needs and desires of the millennial generation
would be to isolate them and ignore the fact that society has changed
over time. The church needs to be sensitive to that. But, the same goes
for every generation in the church. With that said, the church cannot be
a ship tossed at sea, left to the winds of whatever fad blows through,
but rather an anchor that can withstand the fickleness of human nature
and keep its people Christ-centered.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Coaches vs. Cheerleaders- Which one are you?
I will be the first to tell you I'm my own biggest critic. I can't say that I'm necessarily a perfectionist, but haven't had the best track record of exuding confidence in my abilities and life's situations. Where this comes from exactly, I'm not sure. Could be remnants of the low self-esteem and constant teasing I experienced as a kid. Maybe it was growing up with slightly skewed messages of what it means to be humble over being prideful. Or maybe, it's feeling the pressures of the various messages our society and culture portrays, which one can never fully achieve. I'm pretty sure its a combination of these and more. I can be very self-critical. I'm working on it, but it's a process.
Anyways, I digress.
This year in particular, I've had some difficult moments. And with my first reaction to be to prep for the worst, or go to that negative space, it's sometimes really hard for me to see that every storm has its breaking point- that the sun will shine eventually. It's not that I don't know that this is the case. But in the midst of everything, it's a fact that is many times difficult to own. I can never say enough about how blessed I've been to have individuals around me this year who have been a source of encouragement during the lower points I've experienced. They've been the ones to motivate me in moments when my view of my situation was skewed in a way that I just couldn't seem to see the other side of things. I've always known that you need to choose your friends wisely, but one thing that I've learned this year is knowing who they are in times of crisis, and what you need from them in those moments.
This brings me to the subject of today's post- Coaches vs. Cheerleader's: Which one are you?
When I think of a coach, I think of someone who is constantly giving directions, problem solving, always seeing how things can be done better. Coaches motivate their players to do better and direct them in the ways that they should do so. And if you're messing up, they'll definitely let you know that you need to do better.
Cheerleaders on the other hand are constantly encouraging the players. Whether the players are winning or losing, their job is to cheer on those players to the final second. Cheerleaders have faith in their players no matter what.
With those perceptions of coaches and cheerleaders, I would want a cheerleader with me at all times. Why? Because they're always going to see the bright side of things. No matter what my situation, I can walk away feeling good, pumped, and ready to go. I want someone to have unconditional faith in me. Who doesn't! But before we sing the eternal praises of cheerleaders, there's always a downside. Cheerleaders if they are not discerning can be blindly optimistic and not acknowledge the reality of things. Remember those American Idol contestants that you watch and we all know that they suck but yet their friends and family bad mouth the judges on how they don't know how to recognize true talent- yeah those people. Those are what we call bad cheerleaders.
What about those coaches? Coaches are good for recognizing the realities of the situation. They're not afraid to point out the facts and make plans on how things should be fixed. If you're stuck, coaches can help you lay the groundwork to get you up and going. They help you to regroup. And in those moments, I need a coach to redirect me and get me on the right track. But like the cheerleader, they have their faults too. If a coach isn't careful, they can be controlling and discouraging. For example, if you've ever been a situation where you've made a mistake and gotten the dreaded "I told you so" from a friend, spouse, parent... you and both know that in that moment, that's the last thing you want to hear.
So if there's good and bad in both the coach and the cheerleader, what's the solution?
First things first, life is not a football game. The individuals we call friends and mentors shouldn't fall into one category or the other, but rather embody both characteristics. There's a time to cheer on, and there's a time to deal with reality. Naturally we're going to swing more to one side than the other. And that's fine. But as a supporter in one's life, one should be able to know when to coach and when to cheer on.
Secondly, as the person going through the issue, you have to be able to understand who the people are in your inner circle and what their strength's are. You're in that moment where you're trying to figure out what to do with your life and you don't know which way is up- maybe that person who's more of a cheerleader is not the one for you at that moment. You're going to need a coach, playa.
Lastly, you need to understand who you are and what you need. Though I don't do it as much for myself, I'm much more of a cheerleader than a coach. But because I can be self-critical or just afraid to make the next move, more often that not I need a cheerleader to encourage me to keep going. Its not that I need a coach to give me a plan, but rather the motivation to follow through with the plans I've already created. But, if I'm going in the wrong direction, I'm going to need a coach to get me back on track. And something that I have to learn to do myself: Don't be afraid to tell people what you need at the moment! As I was reading in another blog about this same topic a few weeks back, life is a lot easier when you can state and get what you need.
So as individuals, I would encourage us to recognize who we naturally gravitate to- the coach or the cheerleader, and then learn how to embody the healthy characteristics of the other side, so that when situations in life transpire, we know how to respond accordingly.
Go team, go! :)
Anyways, I digress.
This year in particular, I've had some difficult moments. And with my first reaction to be to prep for the worst, or go to that negative space, it's sometimes really hard for me to see that every storm has its breaking point- that the sun will shine eventually. It's not that I don't know that this is the case. But in the midst of everything, it's a fact that is many times difficult to own. I can never say enough about how blessed I've been to have individuals around me this year who have been a source of encouragement during the lower points I've experienced. They've been the ones to motivate me in moments when my view of my situation was skewed in a way that I just couldn't seem to see the other side of things. I've always known that you need to choose your friends wisely, but one thing that I've learned this year is knowing who they are in times of crisis, and what you need from them in those moments.
This brings me to the subject of today's post- Coaches vs. Cheerleader's: Which one are you?
When I think of a coach, I think of someone who is constantly giving directions, problem solving, always seeing how things can be done better. Coaches motivate their players to do better and direct them in the ways that they should do so. And if you're messing up, they'll definitely let you know that you need to do better.
Cheerleaders on the other hand are constantly encouraging the players. Whether the players are winning or losing, their job is to cheer on those players to the final second. Cheerleaders have faith in their players no matter what.
With those perceptions of coaches and cheerleaders, I would want a cheerleader with me at all times. Why? Because they're always going to see the bright side of things. No matter what my situation, I can walk away feeling good, pumped, and ready to go. I want someone to have unconditional faith in me. Who doesn't! But before we sing the eternal praises of cheerleaders, there's always a downside. Cheerleaders if they are not discerning can be blindly optimistic and not acknowledge the reality of things. Remember those American Idol contestants that you watch and we all know that they suck but yet their friends and family bad mouth the judges on how they don't know how to recognize true talent- yeah those people. Those are what we call bad cheerleaders.
What about those coaches? Coaches are good for recognizing the realities of the situation. They're not afraid to point out the facts and make plans on how things should be fixed. If you're stuck, coaches can help you lay the groundwork to get you up and going. They help you to regroup. And in those moments, I need a coach to redirect me and get me on the right track. But like the cheerleader, they have their faults too. If a coach isn't careful, they can be controlling and discouraging. For example, if you've ever been a situation where you've made a mistake and gotten the dreaded "I told you so" from a friend, spouse, parent... you and both know that in that moment, that's the last thing you want to hear.
So if there's good and bad in both the coach and the cheerleader, what's the solution?
First things first, life is not a football game. The individuals we call friends and mentors shouldn't fall into one category or the other, but rather embody both characteristics. There's a time to cheer on, and there's a time to deal with reality. Naturally we're going to swing more to one side than the other. And that's fine. But as a supporter in one's life, one should be able to know when to coach and when to cheer on.
Secondly, as the person going through the issue, you have to be able to understand who the people are in your inner circle and what their strength's are. You're in that moment where you're trying to figure out what to do with your life and you don't know which way is up- maybe that person who's more of a cheerleader is not the one for you at that moment. You're going to need a coach, playa.
Lastly, you need to understand who you are and what you need. Though I don't do it as much for myself, I'm much more of a cheerleader than a coach. But because I can be self-critical or just afraid to make the next move, more often that not I need a cheerleader to encourage me to keep going. Its not that I need a coach to give me a plan, but rather the motivation to follow through with the plans I've already created. But, if I'm going in the wrong direction, I'm going to need a coach to get me back on track. And something that I have to learn to do myself: Don't be afraid to tell people what you need at the moment! As I was reading in another blog about this same topic a few weeks back, life is a lot easier when you can state and get what you need.
So as individuals, I would encourage us to recognize who we naturally gravitate to- the coach or the cheerleader, and then learn how to embody the healthy characteristics of the other side, so that when situations in life transpire, we know how to respond accordingly.
Go team, go! :)