Day 13: Body Image

So today's question is how do I feel about my body? Admittedly that's a tricky topic, especially since I'm a female. It feels like its almost instinctive that no matter what we look like, we find a flaw about ourselves to harp on. I could give a list of my imperfections and provide you with my wishlist of "I'd look so much better if"... but I'd rather take a different approach.

I think that I am pretty beautiful both inside and out. I haven't been always able to say that. In fact, its only at this stage of my life that I'm actually able to say with more conviction that I think I'm pretty awesome. I grew up with a slew of body image issues. I was too tall, too heavy, my hair wasn't straight enough, too dark, ...whatever. I was definitely the kid who was picked on because of my size and shape. And for the longest time, I believed the "hype." Now I look at pictures and realize that I was a bad mother shut your mouth! Shoot, I wish I looked now how I did then lol!

What didn't help me then (or now) is the fact that there aren't enough images in our media and society that affirm natural beauty, especially for black women. I would be and still get discouraged when I can't find stylish clothes or shoes that fit me well. Or, you hear guys refer to women with certain characteristics as beautiful and desirable. What about me...? Who wouldn't want a positive outer affirmation of their thoughts of their own beauty or handsomeness.

To stay that today I am 100% comfortable with my body would be a lie. I definitely would like to lose weight, but for both aesthetic and health reasons, especially since this is probably my heaviest weight to date. I need to put the team chubb chubb lite revolution in full effect. And yes, I do have those days where the murmurs of my imperfections seem to be more audible than the voice of my true beauty. But, for the first time in my life, I can look in the mirror and say, "hey you over there, you're a looker!" That's a feeling that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.